Embracing Mindfulness: A Therapist’s Journey to Healing and Connection
I’ve been a child and family psychotherapist for over two decades now, and in that time, I’ve learned that the most valuable tool in my therapeutic arsenal isn’t a fancy technique or a well-thought-out treatment plan. It’s something much simpler and deeply personal: mindfulness.
Over the years, I’ve come to understand that embracing a personal mindfulness-based practice is not just essential for maintaining my own well-being but also for forging strong therapeutic alliances with my clients.
My journey into mindfulness began before I was a therapist. It began when I was 24 years old when I began my own personal psychotherapy. My therapist introduced me to mindfulness-based meditation. Eager to heal, grow, and learn, I dedicated myself to a daily practice. As I learned to pay attention to the present moment and observe my thoughts and feelings without judgment, I realized the immense power of mindfulness both for my personal life and years later after becoming a therapist myself, I realized the great value of mindfulness in my work with my own clients.
One of the most significant lessons I’ve gleaned from these 20 years in the field is that you can’t effectively help others navigate the turbulent waters of their emotions and relationships if you’re not anchored in the present moment yourself. So, I incorporated mindfulness into my daily routine. Each morning, I’d sit quietly, focusing on my breath, feeling the sensations of each inhalation and exhalation. This practice not only helped me find clarity and calm but it also made me more aware of my own emotional reactions. This awareness became more profound as professional experiences unfolded and I realized how critically important it is to implement mindfulness into my personal and professional relationships.
As I developed my personal mindfulness practice, I began weaving it into my counseling work with clients. Play therapy and relationship counseling, especially with children and families, can be emotionally charged and intricate. To help my clients fully observe their present-moment experiences and emotions, I began incorporating mindfulness exercises into our sessions.
One particular experience stands out from my very first year in private practice. I was working with a young child who was struggling to express their feelings about their parents’ recent divorce. This child often acted out in anger and frustration. Instead of trying to analyze their behavior, I decided to introduce a mindfulness exercise. We sat together, and I invited the child to focus on a small, smooth stone.
As the child gently held the stone, we breathed together, and I encouraged them to fully observe the stone’s texture and weight in their hand. This simple exercise allowed the child to take a step back from their intense emotions, connecting with the little stone in their hand. It created a safe space for them to explore their feelings and thoughts, and through their play they began opening up about the pain and confusion they were experiencing, showing me what they were feeling with the toys in the playroom.
In my work with families, I found that incorporating mindfulness not only helped individual clients but also strengthened the bonds within the family unit. By guiding family members in mindful activities, such as a mindful walk together or shared breathing activities, we built a sense of presence, connection, and understanding.
Through the years, I’ve seen how mindfulness has transformed my therapeutic practice. It has enabled me to be fully present for my clients, to empathize without judgment, and to guide them in exploring their thoughts and emotions. And it’s not just a one-way street; my clients have taught me that mindfulness can be a powerful tool for cultivating resilience, emotional regulation, and self-compassion.
Embracing a personal mindfulness-based practice has not only sustained my well-being but has also deepened my ability to connect with my clients. It’s a constant reminder that the power of the present moment is where real healing and transformation can occur. In my journey as a child and family psychotherapist, mindfulness has become an invaluable compass guiding me toward empathy, understanding, and healing.
About the Author: Lynn Louise Wonders has over 30 years of experience teaching mindfulness-based classes as an instructor of meditation, yoga, tai chi, qi gong, and over 20 years as a mental health professional providing counseling to children, families, couples, and adults with expertise in human development and relationships. She has been providing continuing education, supervision, consultation, and professional mentoring for mental health professionals since 2010. Ms. Wonders is a certified yoga and meditation instructor, certified Synergetic Play Therapist, a certified AutPlay Therapist, and a certified Pure Presence™ Practitioner. She is a Gottman Institute-trained relationship therapist as well. Ms. Wonders is the published author of numerous books, chapters, and professional articles and has co-edited two academic books that support child and family mental health professionals. www.WondersCounseling.com
